We talk a lot about self care. You hear about it all the time. You can’t get on your social media without seeing at least 15 posts about it. “You can’t pour from an empty cup”, I say that all the time. I encourage everyone to take care of themselves.
But, one of the biggest problems that I run into is that when you’re a mother especially, people look at you like they can’t believe you’ve just taken an hour for yourself or spent that money on yourself. The truth is that you need a break. I love my children more than anything in the world, but it’s not healthy to put yourself last and say it’s for them.
When I am on the verge of burnout, it isn’t just me that’s suffering. My children suffer as well. I saw something on social media about how your children DESERVE a happy, fulfilled mother. When I work self care into my schedule, I feel more rested, alive, and willing to PLAY.
When I had to think about when the last time I actually played with my children, I made it a priority to figure out why that had fallen off. After sitting down and thinking about it, I come home exhausted. Some of y’all have heard me joke about “outsourcing” house tasks like dishes and laundry, and I will tell you that made me a better mother. But at the same time, I still come home to things needing to be done and two kiddos who need their mom.
They need a mom who doesn’t have to sit in the car and pump herself up to put on a happy face to walk through the door. They need a mom who isn’t too tired to get up when she does take a day off and go to the park and chase them.
But when you look at your life- work, your home, your marriage or time with your partner, trying to keep some semblance of a social life, trying to stay healthy, and kids- it is absolutely overwhelming. Where do you fit in self care?
And then people start talking about DAILY self care. When I first started hearing about self care being a daily ritual, I literally snort laughed. It was laughable because when would I ever have time or money to do that? So for a long time I ignored it. And then I had a breakthrough.
I am a practice what you preach therapist. I get a massage at least twice a month, but usually weekly. I go to the chiropractor every 4-6 weeks. I workout 3-5 times a week. I go get my nails done with my daughter every once in a while and I get my hair done every two months or so. I thought that was enough. When you hear people talk about self care, those are some of the things you hear brought up the most.
But then I started really thinking about what self care meant to me. Not what everyone else thought it meant, not panicking about how much it was going to cost me or where I was possibly going to fit it in to my schedule. Once I did that, I saw that I started to be okay being by myself. I started to pay attention to the signs my body gave me when it was being overworked and running out of steam. I started to pay more attention to myself.
And after a few weeks of that, I am now a more capable mother. Why? Because I started to take care of myself.
It happens in things like having my mom take my son to his makeup class, or delegating a little more at work.
Self care isn’t all spending money, being a little frivolous, and massages. Self care is paying attention to yourself and giving yourself what you need.
And then I decided to create our 7 day self care challenge. It’s one E-Mail per day and it helps you develop a daily self care routine and get into that habit! It was one of the most exciting things I have created for my business thus far. (#ShamelessPlug it’s in the store for $20 right now, btw!)
The bottom line?
Take care of yourself, your kids deserve it.
I’d love to hear from you about your self care journey and the ways that you add self care into your routine!